I know I’m a bit late (life and stuff) to jump on this wagon and say NOT all men are trash!
This thing is (or was, I don’t know what’s trending now *don’t judge me*) all the rage on social media. But this is also the topic on the other side of the office right now. I never totally get it when girls talk about how trashy men are. How they’d rather stay single and hustle on their own, because they just don’t have the support from their fathers/brothers/partners. I have to add here that I don’t really go around these circles either, I don’t hang with ladies who sit and trash talk men (or other people). Mainly because I don’t have anything to add and I want to go heaven. I have other creases God is ironing out, I can’t still make it worse.
All my life I’ve been surrounded by good strong men. In my tribe, there is The Dad and three brothers. Add to that uncles and a dozen or so male cousins. Then there are those brotherfriends. Solid individuals who know how to take responsibility, own up when they make mistakes and go to the extreme to protect and nurture their families. And now, I’ve been blessed with manchildren of my own and I consider myself the most fortunate to have a part in their growing up.
I LOVE men. I say this unashamedly, because that is what I was exposed to growing up.
So, allow me to apologize to you, daughter who never had the privilege of knowing a father’s love. You, who never felt safe and protected. You, who were never told you’re beautiful. I’m sorry that you never had a daddy-lap to go to when your heart was breaking when the other girls were mean to you. I’m sorry that he wasn’t there to help you with math or embarrassed you when he dropped you off at the school dance. I’m so sorry that he chose not to be a part of your life.
Lonely girl, I’m so sorry that you never had a relationship with your brother. I’m sorry you didn’t get to experience his idiocy and the teasing and sibling torture. I’m sorry that he wasn’t there to teach how to throw a proper punch. I’m sorry that he was nowhere when you needed someone to stand up for you when that stupid boy was talking trash and trying to tarnish your reputation.
I apologize to you, single mama. I’m sorry that he left. I’m so sorry he wasn’t there when your baby was born. I’m sorry about those sleepless nights when baby was sick and you didn’t have the courage to call him up because your tender heart just wasn’t ready to hear any more harsh words. I’m so sorry that you have to do this on your own.
I’m sorry battered wife. I’m sorry that your husband doesn’t know how to love and cherish you. I’m sorry that his inferiority complex and insecurities makes him chomp away at your selfworth.
I apologize to all of you who have not lived my life. It has not been without it’s installments of pain, but the good far outweighs the not so good. I find myself divorced, single mama and I smile because life is still good and I have fight in me, because of the men I have been gifted with in my life. Not all men are trash!
So, thank you to my first love, my main homie, my heroDAD. He is the standard. Solid, strong, protective, soft and all things Love.
A BIG thank you to my overprotective brothers. Dudes, y’all are lowkey my hero’s. You (no names, coz I’m not looking to start no fights) are my favorite! Thank you for always having my back, for stepping in where the boys are concerned. They think you are the coolest.
Thank you, to my uncles and cousins and friends, who won’t hesitate to “keer die jol om” when I’m hurting or have been hurt. You are the BESTEST!
Thank you to my sons. Wow, what an amazing privilege to watch you two grow and discover manhood. Thank you for teaching me patience and flexibility. May you never grow tired of being curious and excited about life. You give me life. You are awesome!
I have been blessed with the most amazing partner (I think it’s in the name because dude has the same name as my Main Homie). Thank you for loving me in all of my colors. Thank you for standing in the gap when it comes to the lil guys. I’m still in awe of the way you have just welcomed us. You are my favorite human being.
So cheers to all the good men, the here men, the real men. Thank you. We see you.