Hello Tuesday!

Transform your thinking on a Tuesday.

Don’t look at the chaos after the flood and feel defeated. Change your perspective and choose to see the beauty. You didn’t die, it didn’t break you. You learnt to swim, you learnt to stand. You learnt to trust in something/someone bigger than you.

Depression taught you to endure. Loneliness reinforced your resolve. Loss taught you to appreciate what you have. The storm allowed you to grow. Go inside and learn who you are. Change your mind about your circumstance and see beauty in the mess.

First, grow in. Then grow out in order to grow up. Challenges teach us this.



It’s such a heavy thing. Like wading through waste deep water with concrete blocks for feet and clad in a coat of heavy metal. A massive chore. To put one foot in front of the other. To keep your head up and your shoulders back. Keep smiling and all the while trying not to forget the simple task of breathing…because some people have it worse than you Lee. I know…but today my knees are buckling under the weight of it.

So I’m just gonna sit, for a minute and rest here. With my companion, Grief. He quietly listens to my reminiscing. I regale him with stories of the people, the things I’ve lost and how I miss them. Miss it. He never says I’ve heard that before. Doesn’t tell me to forget about the past and focus on the future. Doesn’t demand that I be strong or brave or courageous or anything other than what I feel in the moment. I guess carrying him along on the journey (how ever long it will be) is a small price to pay if it will get me to Healing.


For the girls

This is for the girls.
The scared, scarred and the broken.
The muted, beaten and those taken.
For the trapped, daily violated and the forgotten.
This is for the girls.
Brown girls and white girls. For mean girls and nice girls.
Wearing short skirts and the ones in hijab
This is for All the girls
Bisexual, homosexual, a-sexuals and intellectuals
girls who try to eat away their pain
And for girls who starve to do the same
This is for you…
Girls with anxiety and those drowning in depression
For angry girls who grow into bitter women.
This is for crying girls, for the timid and the dying
For the fighters and for those who are surviving…
Brutalized girls. Defenseless girls. Innocent girls.
We are failing you…



I recognize things in me, which I have allowed to stay.

There are things that have left and I am beckoning it back home.

This is the process.

This is the unlearning.

This is how I grow.


Girls and boys

She gives it all, because that’s what she’s been taught. Her sanity. Her sanctity. Her voice. Her worth. Her body. Her dignity. All of her joy, her fire. Her peace. All of the dreams she could dream. All of the beings she could be. Her.

To him. Him who takes and destroys because that’s all that he learnt. He fights. He breaks. He roars. He tramples. He crushes…all of the things he doesn’t know how to feel.



Beloved, Unclench those fists, your jaw. I know you have had to fight and that you need to be strong, but just for now Untie those knots in your stomach. Worrying is doing nothing but make things worse, make you worse. So, Unwind your mind. Let those dark thoughts go and make room for light. Undo yourself from that situation, from that person, from the tension and Breathe. Give yourself the peace you deserve.


Us girls

Some creative pieces, whatever genre, leave you with so much food for thought.

“Let her be born and handled warmly.”

I watched For Colored Girls again. Released in 2010, it had a lot to say. In 2019, this movie is still so relevant.

It weaves a tapestry of sadness, disappointment, betrayal and disillusionment but there’s an underlying hope, a strength and a survivor instinct that is innate in women that shines through.

So apart from the obvious stand-outs in this movie (the part about men sailing through life on their boat of entitlement just because they have a penis) what stood out for me today, was the sad reality that we as women often leave women to struggle alone.

Ladies, we have to do better!

We have to ensure that our mothers, daughters, sisters, friends are ‘handled warmly’. We have to show those who have forgotten or lost their way, which direction the Light is.

Pray for her, love on her, speak life over her and remind her of her worth. Let her know that she is essential.

Us girls…we’re the ones

We are the keepers of our own light and fire and zest

Us girls…We are the ones

In order to survive and thrive, we do our best

Us girls…We’re the ones

Who give and let go and set aside, for all of them

But no more

Us girls…We’re the ones

and now is the time to turn all of that around, doing it together

no more playing second fiddle

Us girls…we’re the ones

Center stage, taking charge, igniting the spark inside me, you, her, she, Us.

We are the voices, the warriors, the nurturers, the peace-givers, the joy-makers, the super heroes.

Us girls…we are the ones.


Wild woman

Wild you

Don’t let them

Tame you

Cage you

Turn you

Change you

At all costs

Stay you

Be you

True you

Wild you

LoveLee© August 2018


Being captive, does not make a lioness less of a predator. By no means does that diminish her instincts, her hunting prowess, her ability to fight to protect her cubs or to kill for her livelihood. If faced with danger, she will jump right into action and do what a lioness does. She never forgets who she is.

What, lovely one, makes you less so? Whatever your captor is called, an abusive relationship, depression, inferiority complex because your overweight/underweight, too short, too tall or whatever. Remember who you are. You are not the mistakes you made. You are not what happened to you. You are not your circumstance. Roar lioness, be defined by the wild inside you.


Dancing with you

pas de deux

Pas de deux (noun)

  • A dance for two performers
  • An intricate relationship or activity involving two parties or things

Stomach in. Chest out. Shoulders square…and one…and two…and three…and four…

And sometimes I miss a step. Sometimes the noise is so loud that I don’t quite hear the music. So I miscount and go too far. I confess, sometimes I trip over my insecurities. Trip over my fears. No matter how many hours of practice I put in, I often forget that I was to turn left instead of right. I get confused and dizzy from spinning around the same situations so many times. Sometimes I’m exhausted and I just don’t want to carry on.

But look how wonderful my Father is. He knew that I won’t be able to do this dance on my own.

I could not have asked for a better partner. He’s steadfast. He’s sturdy. He never misses a beat. He has a firm grip on me.

All I have to do is trust that He’s there. When I fall, He will catch me. He’s proven that over and over. He’s constant. He’s consistent. He’s persistent. He keeps perfect count. His rhythm of total grace is unforced. A pace I can keep up with.

As He steadies me, I put my head on His chest and allow Him to gently sway me to the sound of His heartbeat for me. He guides my footsteps and I follow Him in total confidence across the stage of life. I’m safe. I’m protected. I’m strong. I’m steady.

My God, my Abba, my Lover, my Strength…thank you for your unfailing word. Isaiah 41:10 tells me that I don’t have to worry, You got me. And now, as so often before, You reminded me of that again. No matter how many times I fail you. No matter how many times I forget that I don’t have to do anything on my own, You remain consistently patient with me. I love you. I surrender to your grace.


Awake to what I’ve learnt.


It’s the last day of the year and gosh!, it seems to gallop into the home straight right after the Easter bunny has made his visit. Time to take stock, I suppose. That’s what everyone does, right?

At the beginning of 2017, the word meant to steer me through all circumstances this year presented, was “Awake”. Awake in everything. Awake to everything. Awake with everyone. It has been, as always, a year of learning. Being “awake” in the ups and in the downs, is not for the faint hearted. That much I’ve come to understand and continue to learn and embrace. As I await confirmation of the word for 2018, I reflect on the year past and what immersing myself into the tender and sometimes rough folds of “awake” has taught me.


Dr Seuss (in his simple brilliance) says,

dr seuss

“Sometimes you will never know the value of something,until it becomes a memory.”

This is perhaps the biggest lesson I’m taking from 2017 onward into my next. We’re always reminded to make memories or to live in the moment…all good and well. But this leaves me with questions. How do you really make a memory? What does living in the moment actually mean? When do you know that you are making them? How do know that this is the moment you need to remember? Can you have a memory without having had the moment?

I’m learning, the little things are the BIG things. Memories from childhood remind me of that. Running through the sprinklers on the lawn with my brothers as kids…wow! That used to be such fun. I had this yellow bathing suit, looking at old photos tells me I wore that thing way past its expiry date but I have my happiest memories in that somewhat too tight bathing suit. There’re also those other pics. You know those ones in our Christmas outfits. OMG! Did my mom know that decades later it would embarrass the crap outa us when we look at them?

I don’t think we knew we were making memories in those moments.

There’re also those regrets. Those “I should’ve’ or “I wish I” memories. I had ideas of how things were going to turn out but it didn’t always go the way I thought it would. And sometimes I beat myself up over it. Knowing that if I made a different choice in this moment or that one, the endings to certain chapters in my book would be different. But life is life, things will happen how it happens anyway.

Those memories that make you smile when the sun is hidden behind the clouds, are more often the ones we never saw coming.

Asking a random stranger for directions and ending up making lasting connections. Now that’s a memory worth keeping. Watching a plant grow through a crack in the concrete, against all odds. It’s a thing of beauty. A reminder that I too can thrive even in difficult circumstances. Watching your old clothes become ‘new’ to someone who had nothing. Moments that humble you and grow you at the same time. I’ve seen the sunrise over the ocean and setting in the desert. Majestic. But nowadays when I see glimpses of crimson and orange winking at me here in the concrete jungle, it’s a magical sight.

I’ve seen the pride of achievement in my son’s eyes when he aced a test. I tucked that memory away to share with him on the days when he finds it hard to believe in himself. I’ve heard my boys giggle in the bedroom after I’ve punished them for whatever and I smile when I remember my brother and I doing the same thing years ago. Visiting the parental unit, cooking with mom or having coffee on the deck with dad. Priceless moments that I took for granted many years ago. Now I’m just grateful I have opportunity to make memories of it, which I hope to share with my grandkids some day.

I’m learning that maybe the best way of making memories is to truly be. Just be. Awake. Aware. Present. Eyes wide open in every moment. Don’t waste too much time trying to figure it all out because then you’ll forget how to live.

cesare pavese

So, as we get ready to journey into 2018 let’s leave the regrets behind. All the shoulds and coulds. Its unnecessary baggage that will slow us down on the road. Be awake. Be present with the people who are around you. Shine your light in to their lives and allow them to shine their light into yours. Don’t let the moments pass because you imagined something different. God is good and faithful and each moment He gives is filled with so much grace. Stop. Inhale and remember that every breath you take is your moment.

We never know when we’re making memories, after all.

Thank you 2017. And now I claim every good thing 2018 has to offer.

2017 goodbye